On Visiting

It has been a week since passion three and I started on the road for our graduation trip to merry old England. There have been a few memorable moments and many ooh aah times when we just enjoyed the road, each other's company and the incredible English countryside. It really is something. The lake district was as ever breathtaking, a train ride over the pennines provided several comedic cultural moments,not to mention blogger fodder but the interesting highlight to me is always the visiting.

In the Midwest we "visit" with people. We do not pay a visit,we just visit. We do not take people with us we "take people with." The truth is, that visiting can reveal and explain for us many of the things that we have "taken with" in life. Visiting is an invaluable and vital reality check to us all. In fact a good visit with friends can bring life and recalibration to many parts of our catalogued misconceptions that we thought were true. History is shared story after all.

This is what makes friendship and visiting one of life's great pleasures to me.

For passion three, being there creates the strange and unremitting realization(so necessary
for every teen)that they have a history that is shared and somewhat owned by others. Even at a young age she realizes that actually, she has forgotten much of what formed her and discovers that in finding out who you are, it is oft times best to see yourself through others' eyes.

The dearest friends are those who have shared your history, and can play it back to you with
footnotes, explanations and sometimes, corrections. It is all too easy to misframe our history or to lose our balance on the tight rope of memory. Our history comes with feelings, emotions and perceptions that are not facts, however strongly held to be so. A visit with those that have shared those memories can sometimes reverse the sinking of the good ship ego. Visiting is like nectar and ambrosia to the wearied heart. To hear from those who have known you, love you, and only desire your best is medicine and family, and not be missed for anything.

Live life to the full, memories included. Understand that its on the foundation laid in your past,that you will find the boundaries of your future yet to be. Tend and maintain those foundations as they provide your life's strength and context.

Remember your old friends, honor them,consult them, hear them, visit them.