Apolit has a confession to make to you all. I have an obsession that I find hard to control. It only occurs at certain times of the year so it is mercifully seasonal and not a year round problem to me.The other saving grace in this distraction of mine is that I am not alone. In fact on any given Sunday during certain months of the year many thousands and millions of men and regrettably some misguided women seem to lose all sense of proportion and decency and sacrifice their time, vast amounts of money and energy on this, my particular failing. I am referring of course to football of the American variety.
On first uninformed glance any newcomer to the game could be forgiven for thinking that this is nothing more than a gladiatorial melee of over "roided" men seeking to smash, mash and bash the poor chap on the other side of the defensive line. The names are strangely code like and they run plays as a noun rather than the verb form for the third person singular.
The player's positions have interesting names, such as quarter back, wide receiver and tight end (tee hee) but the plays are even more strange. You will hear commentators talking about the bootstrap, nickelback, dime, wildcat, blitz as common parlance on the field of play. When you listen to the quarter back calling his "plays" the words used are all code so as to confuse the other side and make them think you are going one way when you are going another. After all football is a game of speed as well as strength, where the average NFL play is 4 to 5 seconds and then it is done.The best quarterbacks can have the ball "snapped" and then passed on in 2 seconds and for good reason, to hold it longer usually results in the embarrassing and sometimes painful "sack" by three hundred pound men at speed.
Now I was one of those who could not quite fathom the point of such a game. I had been raised playing rugby and soccer and as part of the village cricket team I really enjoyed these sports. Football seemed so dumb frankly with little going on. However, over time as I began to understand the strategy and the planning and thinking that went in to the game, I became a firm fan, along with all the other devotees, glued to my set.
I did however ponder why it truly was American Football and why games like cricket had never caught on. Some commentators say soccer will not truly catch on until they can guarantee a higher score. Cricket and rugby however do have high scores but they are not storming the States.
Other commentators suggested that the manly nature of the sport could not be compared to anything from the old country, but try telling that to a rugby player who has speed, bulk, strength. Be prepared to have a getaway care standing by however. Some said it is the fact that sports like cricket go on for too long, and since the average test match can go on for anything from 3-5 days they do have a point, but they are missing the point of cricket as a great excuse for getting away with your mates for several days, with the game as a nice sideline to engage with every now and again. Its more like tailgating during the game. So after all the expert's contributions and comments I found myself personally still unconvinced that I understood why these sports had not caught on here.
Then just released studies brought this eye opening revelation.
The average time of actual play in an NFL game lasting three hours, is ten minutes and forty three seconds.
This is all the more amazing when you realize that before the game many people gather and "tailgate" for three or four hours. That is, they drink beer, barbecue meat in various manifestations and generally bad mouth the opposition whoever they are. For the pleasure of doing this many fans pay a fee of $65-100. Then they spend three hours in the game for which they pay another $50-250 and when all is said and done they get the pleasure of 643 seconds of play or for the whole day about 50 cents per second of play. Now I would like to be paid by the second, 30 bucks a minute, 180 bucks an hour, 900 bucks a day..... you get the point.
So I felt that I had identified at least one important component of the football experience that Americans and we American wannabees so love. Ridiculous expense and costs for sport.
I felt that there was something though still missing from my investigation, and then I struck upon what it was.
Concentration span.
I had missed the central wisdom of American Football and why it was truly our sport. American football consists of weeks and months of prep and hype, drama, and prolonged obsessing about vacuous, so called celebrities along with all their torrid lives' speculations and rumors. Just like real life.
When game day arrives we have multiple experts arguing about outcomes, sharing their oft lacking experience, and making predictions and unsubstantiated claims. Just like politics.
Then finally we get to the game and we are not asked to think too hard or long for anything to happen on the field. Just shy of 11 minutes concentration is required. The majority of the program is about talking about it not doing it, which is then followed by constant replays of the same few minutes of action played over and over. Just like our real life TV offerings.
I had struck on the deep wisdom of American football and its popularity. It was a microcosm of our own American Lives a much ado about nothing scenario where 11 minutes seems like three hours and the bait and switch, redirection of society away from what really matters is performed as sweetly as a Brett Favre touch down to Sidney Rice on the run to the end zone.
Has this shocking revelation changed me as a person, or caused me so to redirect my time for better more meaningful pursuits? Has this voyage of inner discovery, painted large on the great American landscape, provided any catharsis or release from the tyranny of my obsessive devotion to the great vacuity that is enshrined in those 643 seconds?
Ask me in three weeks after the Superbowl. Till then, Go Vikes !!
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